This might make me sound like a competitive person...but I really do not think of myself as competitive at all. I am, however, kind of a perfectionist. And mainly whatever I am doing-I like to do it to the best of my ability. And I have never done anything more full-time than what I am doing right now-wife, mother, housekeeper, chef, as of next year...teacher, (in my dreams...seamstress)-you get the picture. So my flesh often runs away with all these thoughts. And sometimes (not always) entering the blogworld can feed this struggle.
Thankfully, God always gently and faithfully calls me back to Himself and His purpose for me. It brings me back to the question..."Lord, what is your purpose for me?" I want to be His servant. I want to be a joy and a blessing to my family (does not always happen-you can ask 'em) I want to grow in His Word and be changed by it. I so want to long for the things of God and be about advancing His kingdom. And if that means cooking a spectacular meal, or doing a cute craft with my kids, then wonderful. But if it means I haven't had a shower all day and the sink is overflowing with dishes because I have spent most of the day refereeing fights or cleaning up throw up, then may God be glorified in that.
I know I've shared this before, but it is so easy for me to think of a day as being successful if I have crossed off everything on my to do list. If laundry is put away, if toys are picked up, if I finished organizing a corner of the house. But was Jesus seen in me today? Was I a vessel for Him to work through?
Hopefully you understand I have no problem at all with posting cute, fun, creative things on your blog. (I would love to do more of it myself) I just am being honest about how I have to be careful and ask God to guide me in my priorities and how I spend my time.
Thanks for listening to all the serious talk.
For those of you (family members) who may be checking for updates on three small children, these two pictures are for you. Sorry-none of Ellie and Luke.
But here is 9 mo. Andrew, who according to my pediatrician's charts, is not even on them. Yes, like underweight. I'm not used to this since Ellie and Luke have always been at the top. So, we're trying to fatten him up a little bit. The doctor said to add some olive oil to his baby food. Had never heard of that, but it makes sense. I also bought some formula that I will mix in here and there as well.
He might not be gaining enough weight because I've been working him too hard around the house.
It's supposed to be a beautiful weekend-maybe I'll borrow mom's camera and get some pictures before the last of the leaves fall off :(
9 comments:
as usual, he is just too cute. I can hardly stand it. I have realized lately, that when I picture John, I picture Andrew, which makes no sense at all. Ada looked nothing like your children. But when I picture boys--of course Andrew and Luke come to mind.
And of course I can relate to everything you wrote. I am the same way!!!!!
Blogging is the housewife's facebook I think. My friends and I often talk about how we get on facebook and begin to think that everyone else is "doing college better" than we are.
Such cute pictures of Andrew!
yeah, sarah, i think you are right, blogging is a house wife's facebook :) and ann, i can totally relate! i just had those exact same thoughts the other day, (even about you!) how can your kids be so good and then i look at sadie and sometimes wonder, am i doing something wrong, sometimes i just want to pull my hair out :) and then i remember...it's only words and pictures, not real life! :) thanks for the reminder of being in check with am i doing what God has for me...really needed that today! and just so you know i guarantee, us moms are all in the same boat, we just don't blog about that part..ha ha!! well, i must say except LB, she is the most honest person, she always brings me back to reality, because sadie is soo much like ada! :) i think if LB can deal with ada, i can deal with sadie :) ha ha! love you guys!!
Thanks for this, Ann. I love reality. And can very much relate to your musings.
It is so important to remind ourselves of the things you bring up. I've heard several women say that we should never compare ourselves with others. That's nice, but for me, it happens even before I realize it, so I HAVE to have talks with myself about this kind of stuff. (Ex: "yes, she has one child or lots of help, etc.," or "yes, their baby has a compliant personality to begin with," or even the catch-all "there's something there that I don't know ..."
It probably sounds cheesy, but I do this pretty often when confronted with the "why can't I..." or "why don't I..." or "why am I not..." thoughts (generated almost entirely by myself).
Taking these questions head-on and answering them in a logical fashion helps me to keep my perspective and to answer eventually that I need to do what God calls me to do. It may not look anything like another friend's life, but it is the life He's given me, and the point is to honor Him in it (and yes, I too fail miserably in this).
I agree about Facebook. So many people use it to ...brag? and it turns me off. A big reason I'm not "active" on it. I already feel inadequate. Don't need another reminder or list of specifics :)
Thanks again Ann. You'll always encourage me being real.
Totally agree and relate. I have to always put that "perfectionist" in me in its proper place! Loved the post.
I actually put lots of olive oil in Owen's food and still do. Since he can't have dairy and neither could I when I was nursing-he was lacking in the fat department. Some other good ideas: coconut milk (try just a bit at first to make sure no allergy). You can make rice with it, oatmeal with it etc. It is very high in fat. Also avocado. If he gags, keep trying. It is a super food and so high in all the good fats. I have heard of people making avocado ice cream. We just smash it up, add olive oil, and a little salt to Owen's and give him a pita chip to dip. Maybe Andrew could try a cracker. I think kids and babies love to dip! My boys both fell way down on their weight at 9 mos. Your milk changes dramatically in fat content. No big deal-just get it from other places. Oh, sorry one more: My boys love sunflower seed butter-both have an allergy to peanuts. Check with the doctor to see when you can try some. It is in the healthfood section of the grocery or at trader joes and whole foods. It is delicious and very high in protein and fat. I'm sure Andrew would love a little on some bread. Don't try the soy butter-yuck!
Ann, I think you are doing a great job, and I am so thankful for your honesty.
We were just talking about blogging in bible study this week and about how it can be dangerous to our minds. What we did want to emphasize is that there are bloggers out there who have very pure motives - and are not boastful or self-righteous at all about how they "go about life." Often, it's in the way that WE (as in, me!) react to their blogs. We can be even more sinful by reading their innocent blogs and being envious or discouraged. We need to pray against that!
May the Lord remind us that he has made us mothers in specific households for a REASON. No other person could parent Ellie, Luke, and Andrew as you can. And in the WAY that you parents them (crafts or NOT). And THAT is God's perfect plan!
Hey Ann, if it makes you feel better, I get inspired by your blog and your walk with God each time I read your posts! You do an awsome job!
Ann,
I'm sick because I couldn't see the pictures of Andrew on your blog post. I could read everything you wrote but the pictures didn't show up. That happens sometimes with other blogs that I read. Do you think you could send the pictures to me separately in an email? If not, it's really okay.
You're doing a great job as a mom. And even if you're not, you've still had 3 of the cutest children I've ever seen (hahaha). Mothering is by far the hardest job in the universe. I know this and I'm not even a mom. It's a total wonder that any mom makes it through the rearing of her children with any sanity and confidence in herself leftover. To think that Andrew is not even on the chart. What do those stupid doctors know anyway? Andrew will probably end up being a brain surgeon and operate on one of his pediatricians.
Love you!
Hi I'm Lauren from Home with Olivia.blogspot.com and I have linked your blog in a award. I recently found your blog and have really enjoyed reading it and browsing your archives!!! Hope you are having a wonderful day!!!
Lauren
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