Isn't it funny how quickly you forget things? I have done this newborn thing twice before and it's still a bit of shocker how hard it is. Although, I still am holding to the first one is the hardest-just because it's all so completely new. Can you tell I'm a bit overwhelmed? The only reason I'm even getting a chance to blog is because I'm at my mom's house and Ellie and Luke are asleep. Another phenomenon is that once you have more than one, you look back on the first and think-what was so hard? There was only one.
I also know from doing this before how quickly it goes by. They are newborns for like, one second. I so do not want to wish this time away, but I am also very tired and having a hard time juggling everything. At times it seems unbelievably overwhelming. (I cannot even imagine how people have caboodles of children-it intrigues me and makes me feel claustrophobic at the same time.) A lot of it is not ever having a break. Once you get the older two in bed, the night is just beginning. Andrew isn't doing bad at night, but he isn't doing great, either. So, there is never really a break. I also really need (maybe just like?) to have sleep. I kind of get panicked if it's not happening.
I know hormones are playing a role in some of this. Like, when I think, "how will I ever cook dinner for my family again?" I know for a fact that I will and it will not be impossible. But right now it just feels like it will never happen. I also battle feeling guilty because I am constantly nursing Andrew and am not able to spend nearly as much time with Ellie and Luke as before. They are handling it well for the most part. And I also know that this is really good for them. I pray it is teaching them more humility and selflessness-you know, that life isn't always about them. And while we're on that-I pray God is teaching me as well. I have been thinking a lot of "what about me?" thoughts. Don't I deserve this and this? What about my nighttime down time that I look forward to every day? waah, waah! How does that sound in comparison to a God who gave up everything for me? I know from God's Word that He wants me to look more and more like Jesus. And Jesus claimed nothing for Himself. I want to have that same attitude, but definitely am struggling to remember that most of the time.
The good news is that Andrew really is an easy baby, aside from all his spitting up. And all this breastfeeding is paying off. His discharge weight when we left the hospital was a tiny 6 lbs. 13 oz. I took him to the doctor today and only 9 days later he is up to 8 lbs. 12 oz. Gotta go-everyone is starting to wake up. I'll post more pictures when I can.
10 comments:
Hang in there, Ann! I cannot imagine how overwhelmed you are - but I like to think of you as growing souls for the kingdom of God; all of your hard work will pay off, Lord-willing, when these three find Jesus. What a reward! This is the hardest time - (I have heard) - so just HANG in there! And thanks for being so honest!
Ann! While I only have one (and you're right, I have NO IDEA what I'm doing) I'm just on the flip side of where you are. Moses is 8 weeks old and already sleeping 8 hours at night. The time has flown by and "life" is already getting easier again.
You're such a wonderful mom, things will start easying up so soon :)
Hi, Ann! I am a friend of Stephanie's...you are a regular on my blog list..even though we haven't met! Take heart!! You can make it...it is hard but just take one day at a time. I feel your pain..I have a almost 3yr old, 1.5 yr old, and a 5 month old plus 3 older step kids (who take care of themselves :))...I was overwhelmed when I came home from the hospital with our 3rd--just take your time and get yourself into a routine the best that you can. You WILL get the hang of it even though it feels crazy. Try not to have expectations for yourself....let things just fall into place. Steph always encourages me with the verse in Isaiah that talks about "the Lord gently leading the nursing ewes". He knows how you are feeling...after all..you are HIS baby!! In a few more weeks, things will feel better...:)
Hey, Ann! I remember the feelings you're expressing (still have a few now, too!) One thing that I treasure about this 3rd baby thing is that my hubby really stepped up in a way he had never done before. Even though I often felt guilty that he was more my help-meet than I was his (I still feel this way sometimes!), it has really strengthened our marriage, and I am even more sold on him now than ever! I'm talking about things like getting the older children ready for bed, doing baths, helping with dinner and dishes, *offering* to change diapers and the like. I comfort myself that one day I will again be *his* help-meet!
It was the hardest work of my life those first few months, but you'll get the hang of it. Give yourself plenty of time, and set your expectations low (I mean insanely low)! I'm not sure if it gets easier, or if you just get used to it after awhile. Either way, things will improve. You (and your children) will survive!
Awww! Hang in there!!! I bet that is really hard...parying for you! :)
Hollen
hey, my heart is going out to you. Yikes!! My friends here in McDonough who are mothers of three have asked about you, and when I say that you say it is hard, they all nod their head in agreement. I assume it is the same as with all newborns--time will pass, and one day you will wake up and life will have normalized somewhat. And one day all three will be older and much more self-sufficient. I imagine these baby years will go by in a blink. I just wish we weren't so tired so that we could enjoy them more;)
Ann, I posted a reply to your comment on my blog. It is too long and I thought others may have the same questions (they're good). Hang in there! Like my friend E likes to remind me: "Call on God for help. It will be good for your children to witness!"
Hello! Moses used to be a solid 3 hour man. I would feed him every 3 hours during the day and PRAY he would sleep longer at night - no luck. We cluster fed and dreamfed. Didn't do the trick. I tried sneaking in when he was around 5 weeks and giving him his pacifier at night to stretch feeds...nothing worked. Then at 7 weeks something clicked and he started sleeping 7, then 8 now 8.5. His last feed of the day is around 8pm. We follow EASY, but for this last feed he gets a bath then breastmilk in a bottle (so dad can take that feeding) and I pump. He sleeps 8ish to 4ish then again to 8ish.
I've had just about every problem imaginable with breastfeeding, so let me know if I can help at all!
Ann- I can't even imagine how overwhlmed you are but you are doing GREAT! I only have one, but those first few weeks are so, so harrowing. I had horrible night anxiety because I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep, and then when I did have some time to sleep, I couldn't. It is such a vicious cycle, but you know from experience that it just gets better. Hang in there! I am praying for you!
I'm feeling very much the same way, with only 2! Your post was encouraging for me to read!
Post a Comment