Overwhelmed and Other Updates

Does the fact that I haven't blogged in about a month, and that my blog background is still covered in fall leaves tell you that my blog is way low on the priority list?  Which isn't a bad thing, since there are many other things that should come first.  It just makes me sigh because I would like to be able to get it to it much more often than I do.

Some days (like today), I really don't know how I will ever get everything done.  Like...raising 4 children, meeting their physical, spiritual, and emotional needs and being the wife God has called me to be.  Thankfully, I have a God who doesn't ask me to do it all, but instead calls me to be completely dependent upon Him.  However, I struggle with how that looks practically.

I feel confident that God has called me to keep my children at home (at least for now-we will pray about it each year).  But I will be honest-next year really scares me.  I will have a 3 month old, a 2 year old, and a 5 year old when we get started in first grade.  How in the world???  Again...I know the answer, but have to ask God to show me daily how that needs to look.

So, obviously, I'm a little overwhelmed on this day, but it CERTAINLY is not the first time.  And the reality is, my children have been provided for today.  Their needs are met-not perfectly-but there has never come a day when God has not been faithful to provide and meet my every need.  Not always how I think it will look, or how I want it to look.  And the times I get most overwhelmed is when I am looking to the days, weeks, months, and years ahead asking..How?  When all I need to do is trust.

Okay, so that is where my head is today.  As for what we've been doing...Lots.  We've made two trips to Chattanooga to visit Steven's parents, who are now living there.  Wayne is pastoring at Woodland Park Baptist Church again.  Same church he pastored for about 18 years while Steven was young.  We're thrilled to have them back near us-especially Ellie and Luke.  They have already spent one night away.  It was a great treat for them and us.  We enjoyed one night with Andrew by ourselves.  Until he woke up a little after midnight throwing up and then again 3 more times after that.  Thankfully, no one else has gotten the virus yet.

I think Andrew read my last post about him not really having the "terrible twos".  He realized that he is now two and should start acting like it.  We had a head-to-head, toe-to-toe battle last night in the bathtub over him putting up a toy.  I soooo did not want to spank that cute, little bare bottom twice.  But it had to be done.  If those battles aren't won now, they will get much harder to win later.  Also, his favorite words are "Top!" (stop) and "Mine!". He takes it especially hard when I don't let him have food or candy that he wants and
usually ends up face down on the floor, legs kicking and screaming.

My mother has been so kind to help me strip a very polyurethaned (sp?) dresser in Luke and Andrew's room.  That was a process, and then the easy part was painting it red.  It looks so, so good.  I can't wait to show pictures.  I have what seems to be an attainable list of things to do before this baby arrives.  And that was probably the biggest one.

I feel as though there are many other things to report on, but that will have to be all for now.  The little two year old I mentioned earlier is asking for chocolate milk and he has been patient for just about as long as a two year old can.  One of those tantrums might be coming and I would really like to avoid it.

Andrew Turns 2

 And I turned 30, but that certainly does not need to be the title of this post.  My birthday is February 1, and his is the 2nd.  Turning 2 is much more fun to celebrate than turning 30.  We had a very small party for Andrew on Monday around lunchtime.  Taco soup, cupcakes, and ice cream.  The splurge for him-okay, really for me-were cupcakes from the same lady who made my wedding cake.  She has done some incredibly beautiful and delicious cakes for me in the past and the cupcakes were just as good.  But she has gone up in price and when I brought them home, somehow (because I took curves and bumps carefully and slowly) many of the animal heads had fallen off and several of the cupcakes had slid together.  They were able to be recovered, but at 9:30 on Sunday night I was a little more than frustrated.  Anyway...the party was a success and Andrew had fun which is what matters.

 The first several months of Andrew's life brought lots of tears for me and for him.  When I was in the middle of it, I felt like it might never end.  But now I'm not sure how we got to this point.  And I know just enough now to know that it only goes faster and faster.  What a gift Andrew is to us!!  He is oozing with personality and he brings such life to our family.  He's smart as a whip and doesn't miss a thing.  So far, we have not entered into terrible two's.  The three's may be a different story.  Right now he is quick to say, "K, mommy", if I tell him to do something.  Ellie and Luke love him so much and he feels the same (most of the time)!  It is so much fun to watch as he is turning their twosome into a threesome.  One night a few weeks ago, Ellie and I were downstairs and Luke and Andrew were playing so well together upstairs.  This had been going on for quite sometime.  After awhile, I heard Andrew screaming "BUKE!!" in the midst of sobs.  When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I realized Luke was done playing and ready to come down.  Andrew was brokenhearted, not mad (as that is why he usually screams "BUKE" at the top of his lungs).  It melted my heart and I pleaded with Luke to play with him a little while longer.  With Luke's sensitive heart, it didn't take much pleading.  There are so many precious things to record about these two year old days, and I wish I could somehow freeze moments in time on a daily basis. 

But as much as I am crazy about him, and as sweet as he can be, he is still a little sinner.  And as it is for all my children, my utmost desire for Andrew is that he would know Christ and seek to follow Him all the days of his life.  Alright, so there is my birthday post for Andrew.  I have felt an urgent need to get some things down in writing about him turning two.  Birthdays can slip by so quickly and before you know it (or at least for me) you have forgotten things you don't even know you forgot.  

As for my Mexican chicken casserole that I told you I was making last week...well, it got put in the freezer that evening because Steven came down with a fever and was in the bed.  I ate half that jar of salsa I told you about and half a bag of chips that afternoon and wasn't even hungry for dinner.  Who knows if my children would've liked it, so I certainly wasn't going to waste it.  I am about to put in the oven now, though, and I have high hopes for our dinner this evening. 

*Thanks for all the kind words about our little girl news.  We are now deliberating over names.  Ellie likes Jada Pada Barber.  (because Jada is one of her friends from school last year-and doesn't it make sense the first and middle name should rhyme?  Luke suggested Jonathan.  hmmm...)*